My Cat Eats Glass

I have a cat named Jack. He's a good cat. He's also a major pain in the ass. Jack and I have a love/hate relationship because his favorite game is to make me mad by doing things that he knows are bad for him and my few nice possessions. Jack loves watching me get all upset when I find him tiptoeing on the edge of the upstairs balcony or casually hanging half off the cabinets that are 15 feet above a tile floor.

So it shouldn't have surprised me yesterday when Jack ate a chunk of broken glass. Yes, you read that right--he ate sharp, broken glass. Apparently, while I was out Jack and his (comparatively normal) brother Birdie had been playing with several glass bracelets I had left on top of my jewelry box. I guess one of them fell onto the bathroom floor and shattered. When I came home, I REALLY had to use the bathroom, so I raced in there, only noticing too late (if you get my drift) that I had narrowly managed to avoid stepping on a number of glass shards.

As I sat there puzzling over why there was broken glass on my bathroom floor, Jack runs into the bathroom, right in my line of sight, and starts pushing around the biggest, sharpest glass chunk with his paw. Now, at this point, I became concerned that Jack might cut his paw, so I said, "Jack, quit it!" in my best scaring-Jack-away-from-the-dangerous-thing voice.

But to my astonishment, Jack not only refused to leave the glass chunk alone, he quickly picked it up in his mouth and with what I would swear was a look of triumph, swallowed it and ran out of the bathroom licking his lips.

So of course I panicked and called my awesome holistic vet friend Ruth Corbo, who advised me to pour hydrogen peroxide down the stupid cat's gullet until he threw up. That was a really fun time, let me tell you. One shredded bath towel, a punctured shin (mine), and 6 tablespoons of H3O later, all I had was a burping, offended-looking cat with a foamy mouth.

Jack seems to be fine so far, but please send him your prayers and good wishes. He's on his own now. But this whole thing has got me thinking--how many of us have Jacks in our lives? How many of us have husbands, wives, partners, older children, parents, etc. who will look you right in the eye before swallowing the dietary equivalent of broken glass and then run off gleefully, laughing at you over their shoulders?

They know (at least on some level) that they're harming themselves and worrying you. They KNOW they're going to feel like crap and possibly even (like my stupid cat) experience some serious health consequences. But they do it anyway. Why? Because you told them, pleaded with them, bullied them, and prayed for them not to.

For those increasing numbers of you who are waking up to the massive importance (and rewards) of good diet and lifestyle (not only for extending our lifespans but raising quality of life), may I make a suggestion based on years of experience with an intractable, stubborn, willfully ignorant guy? I used to think of him as a "health butt"--the opposite of my "health nut." Here it is... Wait for it... Give up! Stop, cease, desist with all the talk of things not being healthy. Stop even with the eye-rolling, hand-wringing, and snide comments.

All you can do is the best YOU can do. All you can do is serve as a good example for others. Shine forth in your health and spirit and allow those who are ready to ask you what you're doing to be so healthy and happy.

There's nothing you can do for those who are not ready to feel good in their bodies and minds except love them unconditionally. There's a reason, which may seem completely insane to you, that they won't give up The Bad Thing(s) They Do. It might be overeating, drinking too much, eating at Chuck E. Cheese 5 times a week, chugging Diet Pepsi all day, sleeping only whenever there's absolutely nothing else to do or sleeping all day, playing video games for 16 hours at a time, whatever.

I have the distinct impression that if I hadn't yelled "Jack, stop it!," my stupid cat would have quickly lost interest in the glass chunk and walked away, rather than eating it. Do you see what I mean? So, if you have an adult Jack in your life (kids are a whole other subject and require different techniques under age 13 or so), see what happens when you allow him to abuse himself without making "helpful" comments all the time. You might notice some interesting things, like furtive, sideways glances ("What's she going to do if I order the Triple Dog with Cheese Bratwurst Combo at Costco?); plaintive, probing questions like "Are you all right?"; and even the desperate "Whatsa matter, don't you care about me any more?!"

To which we respond/reply, respectively: 1. Ignore and cheerfully order your dark-green salad with chicken and dressing on the side; 2. "Yes, I'm great, how are you?" (in a neutral voice with a smile); and 3) "Of course I do, what do you mean?"

See how that goes with the Jacks in your life, and let me know what happens! It's hard enough to keep ourselves healthy and happy without also feeling like you have to drag someone else along. Drop it, take care of yourself, and if your Jack wants to find out how to live a long, healthy, happy life like you're doing, he will! Until then, all you can do is love them, wish them the best, and continue on your path to wellness.

Blessings,
Amanda